[Filter: Private]

I wonder how Lian feels, not being Father's favourite. She shouldn't feel a difference. Why, we are fifteen now. We're not children, needing and living for a parent's especial attention. I'm not Father's favourite, and I'm just fine. I do not need affirmation from him.

I wonder if she'll find a way to ask Father about those outings. She has her ways of talking to him, after all.

[Filter: Private]

Well, it should not bother me at all. Stephanie has had such a difficult time, and she was such a sad girl when she first came here. And Grandmother said that a healer should care for the spirit as much as the body. It's no wonder Father treats her so kindly.

Except

[Filter: Lian, Linnell]

Father has been taking Stephanie on outings quite often lately, hasn't he?

[Filter: Private]

Lancel must know that we are still uncertain of exactly why he has been so ill, but he seems to be in good spirits anyway. He agreed to let me read to him, and I ... I think I enjoy it. It is a pleasant diversion from my lessons and other duties. I would not mind if we made a habit of it.

Hm.

It will be the Night of the Dead soon. Myca will not be far from Father's thoughts. Nor will Mother. Not that they are normally, but ... well, I do not see the sense in having a day devoted to rememberance of the dead. People who have had loved ones pass on are not likely to forget about it.

...

... I wonder, is it ... is it terrible of me to mourn Grandmother more than I do Mother? I've only ever heard of Mother, while Grandmother was just as good as a mother to me. Grandmother taught me everything she could. Of course I'd grieve for her more than a note in a history book.

[Filter: Private]

He is not getting better, is he? He is not getting worse, but he isn't cured ...

We are co-operating quite well now, I think. He's reading the book I gave him, and I can see the bookmark being moved further every time I have my shift. He ought to know the history of these lands, and of our family. Then, he'll see that there is nothing bad in trying to emulate Grandmother.

I wish that he would get better. It would be awful to be ill for so long.

[Filter: Public]

Well, it's Wednesday, and I have a question. I suppose my question is more of a survey, really. It's for my studies, you see, in the healing arts, and that means nursing the sick as well ... which is what my sisters and I are practicing at the moment. And I have been wondering ... When you become ill, what sort of care do you prefer? What is attentive for most is intrusive for some, you see. And when you are sick with a short illness, say, a cold, what do you do to entertain yourself while you are being confined, or do you sleep through your sickness? Is there a particular food that you crave when you are sick, or a particular remedy foisted upon you?

[Filter: Lian, Linnell, Stephanie]

Well, I'm sure you're all aware that Festival of Leaves is approaching, and that we will be celebrating it with a guest. He won't be able to take part in all of the celebrations, but he should be well enough to see something. Perhaps we'll be able to move him out of his room for the day. Is there anything else we can do to make the day better for him?

[Filter: Private]

I suppose if everyone is thinking of giving Lancel a Festival of Leaves gift, I should do the same. It would not do to be the only person not to. Besides, Grandmother said that a just ruler should always be magnanimous, and to begrudge him a gift would be petty, which a ruler certainly should not be.

And perhaps a gift during the Festival of Leaves could allow him me us to start again.

[Filter: Private]

Perhaps it is that he resembles Myca so much that makes him so infuriating. Myca would never ignore me when I tell him to be quiet and rest. He would never keep talking when I tell him not to. He would never tell me to stop being so high and mighty, as if I will find such a comment a joke. He would never make such an erronous presumption.

But that look of hurt when I don't engage in his attempts at getting better acquainted with me ... then he looks exactly like Myca.

[Filter: Lian, Linnell and Stephanie]

Does Lancel talk to you, and what does he say?

[Filter: Private]

I wish he wouldn't talk to me. I told him that he should spend his efforts in resting, but he just simply insists on speaking to me as if he's known me all my life and making the most forward assumptions. It is utterly presumptuous and ungentlemanly and I won't encourage it.

[Filter: Private]

I thought that shift went quite well. Though he shouldn't talk for someone so ill. I told him that if he spent his energies resting instead of trying to speak, he will make things so much easier for Father, but he just smiled at me. Hmph.

Our birthday is coming. I hope there will be time for even a little celebration.